I did not do it in a car
I did not do it in a bar
I did not do it in the dark
I did not do it in the park
I did not do it on a date
I did not ever fornicate
I did not do it at a dance
I did not do it in her pants
I did not get beyond first base
I did not do it in her face

I never did it in a bed
If you think that you've been misled
I did not do it with a groan
I did not do it on the phone
I did not cause her dress to stain
While talking to Saddam Hussein
I did not do it with a whip
I did not fondle Linda Tripp
I never acted really silly
With volunteers like Kathleen Willey
There was one time with Margaret Thatcher
I chased her round but could not catch her
No kinky stuff, not on your life
I would not, could not, with my wife
Now that Miss Flowers' tale of woes
Was paid for by my right-wing foes
And Paula Jones and those State Troopers
Are just a bunch of party poopers
I did not ask my friends to lie

And then just hang them out to dry
I did not do it last November
And if I did I don't remember
I did not do it in the hall
I could have but I don't recall
There was no sex at Arlington
There was no sex on Air Force One
I might have copped a little feel
And then endeavored to conceal
But never did these things so lewd
At least not ever in the nude
These things to which I have confessed
They do not count if we stayed dressed
I never used that big cigar

You must believe me Mr. Starr
I did not know this little sin
Would be retold on CNN
I broke some rules my mama taught me
I tried to hide but now you've caught me
But I implore, I do beseech
Do not condemn, do not impeach
I might have got a little tail
But never ever did inhale.