In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:
On Sears hair dryer: "Do not use while sleeping." [Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!] On a bag of Fritos: "You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside." [Evidently, the shoplifter special.] On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." [And that would be how?] On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestions: Defrost." [But it's *just* a suggestion.] On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of box): "Do not turn upside down." [Oops, too late!]
On Marks and Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." [As sure as night follows the day.] On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." [But wouldn't this save even more time?] On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." [We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.] On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." [One would hope.] On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." [As opposed to what?]
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." [I gotta admit, I'm curious.] On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: Contains nuts." [NEWS FLASH!] On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: open packet, eat nuts." [Step 3: Fly Delta.] On a child's Superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly". [I don't blame the company. I do blame parents for this one!] On a Swedish chain saw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals". [Was there a chance of this happening somewhere? Good grief!]
