1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto! The blockage will be almost instantly removed.
2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegies by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.
3. Avoid arguments with your signigicant other about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink.
4. High blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a while, thus reducing the pressure in your veins.
5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep when you hit the snooze button.
6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of Exlax, then you will be afraid to cough.
7. Have a bad tooth ache? Hit your big toe with a hammer, then you will forget about the tooth ache.