A husband and wife are getting all snugly in bed. The passion is heating up. But then the wife stops and says, "I don' t feel like it. I just want you to hold me."
The husband says, "What?!!!"
The wife explains that he must not be in tune with her emotional needs as a woman. The husband realizes that nothing is going to happen tonight and he might as well deal with it.
So the next day the husband takes her shopping at a big department store. He walks around and has her try on three very expensive outfits. He then tells his wife, "they all look great, we'll buy all three of them."
Then he goes over and gets matching shoes worth 0 each. And then goes to the jewelry department and gets a set of diamond earrings. The wife is so excited, and trying to take advantage of her husband's generous mood, she goes for the tennis bracelet.
The husband says, "You don't even play tennis, but if you really like it then let's get it."
The wife is practically jumping up and down with excitement. She says, "Okay, I'm ready to go, let's take all of this stuff to the register."
The husband says, "No-no-no, honey, we're not going to buy all this stuff."
The wife's face goes blank.
"No, honey, I just want you to hold this stuff for a while."
Her face gets really red and she's about to explode when the husband says, "You must not be in tune with my financial needs as a man!"