1. A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two-tired. 2. What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway). 3. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. 4. A backwards poet writes inverse. 5. In democracy, it's your vote that counts. In feudalism, it's your Count that votes. 6. She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg, but broke it off. 7. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion. 8. If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed. 9. With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress. 10. Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft, and I'll show you A-flat minor. 11. When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds. 12. The man, who fell into an upholstery machine, is fully recovered. 13. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart. 14. You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it. 15. Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under. 16. He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key. 17. Every calendar's days are numbered. 18. A lot of money is tainted. It taint yours and it taint mine. 19. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat. 20. He had a photographic memory that was never developed. 21. A plateau is a high form of flattery. 22. The short fortune-teller, who escaped from prison, was a small medium at large. 23. Those, who get too big for their britches, will be exposed in the end. 24. Once you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall. 25. Those, who jump off a Paris bridge, are in Seine. 26. When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye. 27. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis. 28. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses. 29. Acupuncture is a jab well done. 30. Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat.

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