How to be Politically Correct when talking about Men (Or Army Men)

He does not have a beer gut...

He has developed a Liquid Grain Storage Facility.(regular guys)

He has a personal war reserve stock.(army guys)


He is not quiet...

He is a Conversational Minimalist.

He is a SAMS grad.


He is not stupid...

He suffers from Minimal Cranial Development.

He is a field grade.


He does not get lost all the time...

He discovers Alternative Destinations.

He gets temporarily misoriented.


He is not balding...

He is in Follicle Regression.

He has a REALLY squared away high and tight.


He is not a cradle robber...

He prefers Generationally Differential Relationships.

He is breaking the new fraternization policies.


He does not get falling-down drunk...

He becomes Accidentally Horizontal.

He practices his IMTs in the club.


He is not short...

He is Anatomically Compact.

He suffers from a Napoleon Complex.


He does not have a rich daddy...

He is a Recipient of Parental Asset Infusion.

He has the Army as a hobby.


He does not constantly talk about cars...

He has a Vehicular Addiction.

He must be a Transporter.


He does not have a hot body...

He is Physically Combustible.

He is a PT stud.


He is not unsophisticated...

He is Socially Challenged.

He is a Ranger.


He does not eat like a pig...

He suffers from Reverse Bulimia.

He eats like a Ranger student at Pizza Hut.


He is not a bad dancer...

He is Overly Caucasian.

He is from the Muddy Boots Army.


He does not hog the blankets...

He is Thermally Unappreciative.

He is a Blue Falcon.


He is not a male chauvinist pig...

He has Swine Empathy.

He must be combat arms.


He is not afraid of commitment...

He is Monogamously Challenged.

He loves TDY.